Where are we? What the hell is going on?
by Dr.Jen
Summary: Continuing from where season 3 left off and will eventually end in RyanSummer. I feel to do the characters justice I need to deal with Marissa's death first
1. Endings are sad Beginnings are scary

**Where are we? What the hell is going on?- Imogen Heap (Hide and Seek)**

Behind them the fire was dying out. The darkness shrouded them. An hour, perhaps more, had passed since the land cruiser plunged off the precipice. Marissa's lifeless form lying on the harsh tarmac. Next to her Ryan wept softly. In the distance he could hear a siren intruding into their world but at the moment its light was a mere pin prick in the inky distance. He wasn't ready to lose her yet. For what he knew would be the last time he looked down at her. At her hair once like spun silk now matted with coagulating blood. Her eyes closed as if she were asleep. If only she would wake and he could drown in her eyes as blue as the ocean. Her skin once glowing now a deathly pallor. Ryan scooped her up across his lap and held her tight willing her to wrap her arms round him only he knew she wouldn't. Stroking her hair he whispered "Marissa, I …I love you so much, I only hope you know that…knew that…"

Tears started to flow his kissed her on the lips then let out a strangled cry of "Please Marissa I ..LOVE YOU"

By now the air was filled with the incessant shriek of the ambulance siren.

"Son, son .." a paramedic shouted at Ryan. He looked up. His partner joins him. "You gonna give us a look at your girl there?" Ryan said nothing. Slowly he let Marissa go, lying her flat on the concrete. To the paramedic he said, "Its too late." Ryan knelt and held her face in his hands. "Marissa I have to leave you…" his voice cracked "you are… are… the love of my life…. Always will be… through all the shit that's happened. Just wherever you are be happy." He kissed her on the forehead. Slowly he stood up and walked away without looking back.

The first paramedic covered Marissa in a blanket whilst his partner lay Ryan on a gurney.

Paramedic: What's you name son?

Ryan: Ryan Atwood

Paramedic: Is there anyone who should know about you Ryan? Whilst covering Ryan in a blanket.

Ryan: Sandy an' Kirsten Cohen

Paramedic: Son, your girl, Marissa you called her. Does she have any family? As he straps a padded splint round his leg.

Ryan: Her mom Julie Cooper Nichol. They'll be at Dr. Roberts' place

Paramedic: Well done son. We'll radio ahead so they all know. We need to get you fixed up so I'm going to take you to the local hospital.

As the paramedic lifts the gurney into the ambulance a police officer comes over. Ryan shuts his eyes it seems to dull the throb in his head.

Officer: Hey man, you boy in a fit state to talk?

Paramedic: No.(looking down at Ryan concerned) He's Ryan Atwood. He needs a Sandy and Kirsten Cohen to know and the girl, Marissa you need to get ahold of Julie Cooper Nichol apparently she's with some Dr. Roberts

Officer: Sandy Cohen? That's Sandy's kid?

Paramedic: It'd seem so

Officer: So she's the famous Marissa Cooper then. That little miss sure has a knack of getting herself in a pickle.

Paramedic: She's dead show some respect

Ryan: grumbling noises.

Officer: Ok sorrreee just between her father defrauding the Newpsies, shooting some dude, implicated in a suicide

Paramedic(cuts him off) I need to get him out of here. Just do your job. No matter what she's done she still her a family.

Meanwhile in the Roberts' residence.

Neil: Well that was some day

Julie: It was a great day. My girls….

Neil: Just like their mother… (kissing Julie)

Julie: Well Marissa finally seems to be getting sorted hopefully time with Jimmy will help her put the past behind her and Kaitlin back….How do you feel you've got a great girl too

Neil: I know Summer going to the Ivy League. We've got a pretty great family here

Julie: I dare say we do -laughing

Meanwhile at the Cohens'

Kirsten: My boys are all grown up

Sandy: Aww honey they are

Kirsten: It will be so quiet round here now. Their last summer an' all. Its sad.

Sandy: Before they both go to college. Now that's quite an achievement getting Seth and Ryan into college between pot, punches and girls.

Kirsten: It certainly was but we did it Sandy. How great are we? Kissing him

They continue to kiss

Sandy: We should go upstairs in case Seth catches us…

Seth walking in ewwwwwwwwwwww get a room

Kirsten: You not sorted things with Summer yet honey?

Seth: No. I have so screwed up as usual why can't I just keep a good thing

Roberts' residence front door.

An officer knocks. Neil answers

Officer: Good evening sir, are you Dr. Roberts?

Neil: Yes (seeming puzzled)

Officer: Do you have a Julie Cooper with you? Mother of Marissa?

Neil: Yes why?

Julie from the background: Neil honey who is it?

Officer: We have some news

Cut to Roberts' living room

Officer: Ma'am you are Julie-Cooper-Nichol

Julie: Yes why? (Sounding irritated)

Officer: Do you have a daughter, Marissa?

Julie: Yes (sounding worried) what is it this time? Drugs? Has she been stopped at customs?

Officer:Customs?

Julie: She was going to the airport to fly to Greece, to be with her father

Officer: Ms. Cooper there is no easy way for me to say this (he looks upset)

Julie and Neil exchange concerned looks

Officer: Your daughter has been involved in a motor vehicle accident. The SUV she was travelling was forced off the road over a cliff.

Julie: gasps. Marissa?

Officer: She was found dead at the scene. I am so sorry Ma'am.

Julie remains silent. Her face frozen, a tear slowly trickles down her cheek. She takes a deep breath. Then lets out the a primeval scream from deep within and drops to her knees. Neil looks stunned

Cohen residence

Officer knocks the door. Seth Cohen

Officer: Is this the Cohen residence?

Seth: Yeah

Officer: Can I speak to Sandy and Kirsten Cohen?

Seth: Eh sure come in.

Kirsten: Seth who was that? Coming into the living area

Officer: You Kirsten Cohen?

Kirsten: Yeah is everything alright?

Officer: Is your husband here? As Sandy walks in

Sandy: What is it?

Officer: Do you know Ryan Atwood?

Kirsten: Yes he's our son

Officer: Mr. Atwood has been involved in an accident.

Kirsten stands looking quizzical. Seth looks a bit surprised. Sandy looks deadly serious

Officer: There was a motor vehicle accident. His vehicle went over a cliff. He is at Orange County General. His condition is stable but serious.

Sandy: We need to get over there right away.

Sandy turns away as if he's going to get his keys. Kirsten stands looking stunned. She suddenly looks up at Seth who is thinking the same thought as her.

Seth: Officer the girl who was with him…Marissa

Officer: Do you know her?

Seth: She's my aunt (Officer is like hmmm) long story

Sandy walks in.

Officer: Unfortunately Miss Cooper was found dead at the scene

Sandy: Marissa? Does Julie know?

Officer: I believe she is being informed as we speak.

Roberts' residence

Summer running down stairs. She bursts into the living area and stops suddenly when she sees Julie sobbing violently on the floor. Neil is sitting on the sofa stroking her hair. He leaps up when he sees Summer.

Summer: Daddy what's wrong?

Neil: Summer I think you should sit down something's happened.

Summer: okkk (looking concerned.)

Julie is still crying

Neil: I don't know how to say this sweetheart

Julie stands up and sits beside Summer. She takes her hand

Neil: There was an accident when she and Ryan left for the airport

Summer: Oh my god! Are they ok?

Neil: Honey Marissa didn't make it.

Summer: She didn't make it?

Julie: Summer she's gone (plaintive voice)

Summer look stunned. She sits silently for a minute

Summer: What about Ryan?

Neil: We don't know much. He's in the hospital. The Cohens are on their way to meet him there.

Summer: I should go to the hospital

Neil: Are you sure you don't want to wait?

Summer: I need to get some air.

She dashes out and leans against the front door gasping for air. She gets in her car and drives

Hospital. The Cohens are standing in the waiting area

Sandy: Excuse me I'm looking for Ryan Atwood

Receptionist: He is at CT I'll let you know as soon as he is back

Seth is sitting in a plastic seat his head in his hands

Kirsten looks distraught

Kirsten: I should call Julie

Sandy: I'm sure Neil is taking good care of her

Summer walks across the hospital car park and in the door. She is stuggling to hold in the tears.

She sees Seth. They stand looking at each other sadly. He takes a deep breath and walks towards her.

Seth: Summer I…

Summer: I…it doesn't seem real.

Then Seth steps forwards and hugs her

Ryan is wheeled back into a room and the Cohens enter

Kirsten: Ryan honey

Ryan: San..Kirst

Kirsten: sshhhh honey

Sandy: You gave us all quite a fright kid

Ryan: (makes an incoherent noise then ) tired

Kirsten: You need rest then leans down to kiss him on the forehead

Sandy: We need to talk to your doctors but we'll be right outside. Sandy squeezes Ryan's hand.

Summer enters Ryan's room. He opens his eyes suddenly.

Ryan: Marissa

Summer: Steps closer to his bed

Ryan: looking confused Summ..bad dream

Summer: shhh

He looks at Summer sadly. He lifts his hand toward her. She takes it. Slowly a tear rolls down her face. The first tear she has cried for Marissa.

Ryan: Not a dream. Its true.

Tears are streaming down Summer's face. Ryan grips her hand tightly as a machine he's wired to starts to beep faster and faster. An alarm goes off and a nurse rushes in. The Cohens look through the glass window.

Summer: RYAN (screaming) as his hand goes limp….


	2. Funeral for a Friend

I imagine some nice orchestral music over this chapter.

Summer's room 

Summer is standing in front of a mirror getting ready. Her eyes look puffy and she is visibly trying not to cry. She slips off her robe and pick her dress up off the bed. Her eye catches Princess Sparkle and Care Bear lying on the pillow. She stands looking sadly at them.

Poolhouse 

Ryan is knotting a tie in front of his mirror. He has stitches over his eye and a little bruising.

Cohen kitchen 

Kirsten is putting jewellery on

Seth and Sandy are sitting at the breakfast bar

Kirsten: Honey could you help me with this necklace

Seth stands silently and helps her with the catch. He lingers behind her with a hand on her shoulder. The look in his eyes says it all. He looks helpless yet as though he has the weight of the world on his at the same time.

Sandy: We should go…(hesitates) do you know if Ryan is…

Ryan walks in. The three turn and look at him. Seth looks so uncomfortable.

Sandy: You ready kid?

Ryan looks down. The emotion overwhelms him. Kirsten steps over to him and hugs him. After a minute she lets go.

Kirsten: Honey…(she is lost for words. She wants to comfort him but nothing a mother says will fill the void)

Kirsten looks at Sandy

Kirsten takes Ryan's hand. He follows her as the Cohen clan leave the house

Roberts' Residence 

Julie is in the hallway looking at herself in the mirror.

Jimmy walks up behind her

She turns to look at him plaintively

In the background the doorbell rings and we hear Seth and Neil exchanging pleasantries.

Neil: She's in her room. I'll go get her..

Seth: No, let me

Seth climbs the stairs and knocks her door. There is no response. Slowly he enters.

Summer is sitting on her bed.

She stands and walks straight past him out the open door.

**The church where Julie and Caleb got married.**

We see a distance shot of everyone entering the church.

Then a shot of heading up the aisle. We see Marissa's coffin it is covered in pink and white flowers. Sandy's voice is heard.

Sandy: Marissa Cooper was taken from us all in tragic circumstances. For someone so young Marissa had been through so much. Today we are not here to relive those battles but celebrate how she overcame them.

Everyone here today knew and loved Marissa whether it be as a cherished daughter, precious friend or true love. ( We see Julie whose is weeping and Jimmy looking stricken. Then Summer, Seth has his arm round her awkwardly. Then Ryan who is alone. His face is expressionless) Marissa's life was short but bright and full of life like a comet which lights up the sky ever so briefly.

The end of the ceremony. Ryan, Seth, Sandy, Jimmy, Luke and Neil all step forward and lift her coffin.

Roberts' residence 

The wake is in progress.

Beside the pool Ryan is sitting alone on a sun lounger away from the crowd. He looks over at them.

Taylor approaches Summer

Taylor: Summer I am so sorry for you. If there is every anything you need… you want to talk … hang out I'm only a phone call away.

Summer: Thanks (dryly)

Taylor: I can't begin to imagine how you feel. But still you'll be needing a friend

Summer: I had a friend and you can't imagine how I am feeling no one can.

Summer shoves past her. Seth sees Taylor looking a little bemused, he shrugs his shoulders at her.

Ryan sees the whole exhange, his eyes linger on Summer a moment.

Summer's room

Seth is sitting on the bed as Summer is taking off her jewellery.

Seth: Summer…is there anything…anything I can do

Summer looks at him

Seth: I can't bring her back… but if you want to talk…

Summer: Talk about what?

Seth: How you feel…

Summer: HOW I FEEL…HOW I FEEL…I lost the person who knows me best who has been there through everything..

Seth looks wounded

Summer notices:

Summer: You weren't there during 5th grade when I broke my arm, when my mom left, you haven't been to all my birthday parties, known who I've kissed…

Seth looks dejected.

Summer: Could you please leave..

Seth: Summer..

Summer: GET OUT

Seth walks towards her. She pushes him away yet he still comes closer to her. He wraps his arms round her as her fists beat on his chest

Summer: COHEN GET OUT… LEAVE ME

Seth holds her tighter. She finally stops.

Pool house 

Ryan is lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. Next to him lies a photo of him and Marissa

Summer's room

Summer and Seth are lying in her bed. Seth is sleeping soundly with his arm around her. Summer stares at the ceiling then rolls over to face her pinboard where there are tonnes of core 4 photographs


	3. Dear Daddy

**Cohen kitchen**

Seth: Big man please turn off the heat already

Kirsten: You want it cooler?…(looks surprised)

Seth: You would think with the power of world's largest religions behind me that I the creator of the ultimate religious holiday would have some sway….

Sandy walks in

Sandy: Hey… so what you up to today?

Seth: Dunno

Kirsten: You and Summer could hang out

Seth: Hmmmm

Sandy: You are hmmming to spending a day with your beloved (whilst cuddling up to Kirsten)

Seth: Yeah I'm hmmming because right now words fail me especially with Summer. The whole girl's best friend dying in car crash when boy's brother was driving thing…There's a whole lot of hurt and blame going round at the moment. I'm not equipped for that.

Kirsten: Aww sweetie. No one said it would be easy but sometimes silence counts for more than words

Seth: Yeah…..(looks very sceptical)

Sandy: Talking of brothers.. You spoken to Ryan?

Seth: Kinda

Kirsten: Asking him to pass a bagel does not count

Seth: Since before the funeral then I guess no

Sandy: Seth!

Seth: Well have you spoken to him?

Sandy looks guilty

Kirsten: Neither of you have spoken to him?

Seth: There's this elephant in the room every time I'm near him

Sandy: A big elephant

Kirsten is looking more and more disappointed

Seth: Marissa isn't an elephant…too skinny.. she's more of a..

Kirsten:Seth!

Seth: Sorry. Too soon.

Kirsten: Ryan needs us to be around him

Seth: So what do you suggest?

Ryan walks in

Kirsten: Ryan

Ryan looks at them all suspiciously

Ryan: Its like a hundred degrees outside

Seth: Yeah very hot

Ryan: Any idea how long its to last?

Sandy: A couple of weeks

Ryan: cool…well maybe not cool

Ryan walks out looking perplexed.

Seth: You didn't say anything!

Kirsten: I said something…You two discussed the weather with him..

Seth: Ryan doesn't talk mom. He broods. He gets angsty. If I tried to talk to him I'd piss him off and I don't really want to be the first person he takes out his Volchok rage out on physically.

A pounding bass beat drifts through the open patio doors. A few seconds later we hear some grunts

Seth: I hope he doesn't see Volchok anytime soon

Kirsten: He's drifting away. We need to help him

Seth: So dad… got the Sandy Cohen pep talk lined up

Sandy looks horrified

Kirsten looks happy

Kirsten: Sweetie if anyone can get through to him then its you

**Roberts' patio**

Neil is sitting by himself at the breakfast table reading the newspaper.

He flips a page.

His cell rings

Neil: Hello. Dr Roberts speaking

Neil: ah right

Neil: hmmm

Neil: What are Ms. Smart's pre op labs like?

Summer walks past him. She is only wearing a baggy grey t shirt and sunglasses. She pours a coffee and grabs a pastry. She turns to walk away

Neil: Honey wait a sec (covers the phone)

Neil: Her platelets are what? (looks shocked)

Summer sighs and wanders off

Neil looks dejected.

Julie's bathroom 

Julie is in the shower. She is standing motionless under the jet of water. Her red hair plastered to her face. Her eyes open. She turns off the water and steps out wrapping herself in a towel.

Neil walks in

Neil: Honey I'm just leaving for work. Do you need anything?

She doesn't respond

Neil: I'll be home at 5 then

Neil moves to hug her

Julie: I'll make you wet (shooing him away)

Neil walks out. He looks confused.


	4. Comfortably numb

**Summer's room**

Summer lay in bed awake. The sun is pouring in the window. It was a week since the funeral. 2 weeks since graduation and the accident. She had left the house 3 times since that day. Once for the funeral, once to see Seth and dragged once by Taylor before she left for Cabo. Summer rolled over and squinted in the sunlight. It was prime tanning season. Summer wasn't tanning. Not this year. There was no Marissa to keep her company. Cohen wasn't much use. He hated the heat and his SPF application technique left a lot to be desired. Plus she couldn't scope out hot guys with him. Not that it mattered. She missed Marissa. At first the wound was raw now it was healing over. The pain had changed from a searing cut to a dull ache. Nothing was the same. The person who knew her the best was gone. Sure she still had the memories, but memories no one else knew about. She couldn't share them. Instead they built up inside, festering.

The clock read 11.30. Time for 'The Valley'. She flipped the tv on.

A couple of hours later Seth came over.

Seth: Hey Sum- hugging her

Summer: Hey

Seth: I brought Blade

They watched the entire movie in silence. Not touching. He left as soon as the last credit rolled. He couldn't escape quickly enough. Unlike him she couldn't escape the feelings. Loss. Pain. Regret. Anger. Numbness

**The poolhouse**

Ryan lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. He could vaguely hear Nintendo noises coming from the house. Seth was the only one home. He had heard Sandy and Kirsten at breakfast. Sandy had gone to the Newport Group and Kirsten to cardio barre. Hauling himself out of bed he headed to the house and made coffee.

He returned to the poolhouse and started to bandage his fists. He started to pummel the punchbag.

He started to sweat. Pausing his eye caught a photo of Marissa.

He punched harder. Marissa's eyes watching from the photo

The sweat was running down his back. Her eyes traced his every move

Still he punched harder until blood appeared on his fists.

He crouched on the floor trying to avoid her happy gaze.

He went for a shower. The hot needles of water were agony on his sore muscles. He turned the temperature down until it was icy cold.

After half an hour he left the shower. The moment he set foot in his room her eyes caught his.

He had to get out.

**The beach**

Summer wandered slowly along the beach. She had wanted to escape but the darkness was making her frightened. The only light came from the boardwalk and a rig out at sea. Ahead she saw a lifeguard station. She picked up her pace. When she reached it she ran up the ramp and sat leaning against the hut.

Ryan was pounding along the sand. In his mind all he could see was her. Her eyes, her hair, her skin. He wanted to scream.

Summer is staring out to sea.

Volchok: Well, well look who it is

Summer looks shaken. Volchok is standing at the base of the ramp.

Summer: What do you want?

Volchok: Same as you

Summer: How do you know what I want?

Volchok: Cos I want her back too

Summer screams: You bastard!

She charges down the ramp

A noise pierces Ryan's consciousness. He sees a petite woman lunging at a man.

Summer screaming: You killed her

She slaps Volchok.

The noise was Summer. Ryan was sure of it and that was Volchok. Ryan started sprinting.

Summer slaps Volchok again. He reaches out to stop her. She scratches him with her other hand as his arm contacts her head. She stares for a split second as the pain of being punched in the face registers before punching him in the chest

Ryan hears her screaming

You don't get to want her back. You killed her. You took her from me, she was my best friend. From Ryan, the love of her life and her family. You sick bastard. Her tiny fists are pummelling his chest. All the time Volchok is grabbing for her. He succeeds and twists her arm. Tears are streaming down Summer's face

Volchok: I love her

Ryan shouting: Let her go

Volchok turns just as Ryan lands a punch on him. Volchok falls to the ground

Ryan stands back as the other man pulls himself up

The two men stand eye to eye. This is it. Ryan charges at Volchok.


	5. Headlights on dark roads

**Headlights on dark roads- Snowpatrol**

For once I want to be the car crash

Not always just the traffic jam

Hit me hard enough to wake me

And lead me wild to your dark roads

Headlights show it all before me

So beautiful and clear

I will reach out and take it

Cause I'm so tired of all this fear

My tongue is so lost I can't tell you

Please just see it in my eyes

I'll pull the thorns from our ripped bodies

And let the blood fall into my mouth.

This song is over the scene. No noise from the actual scene is heard.

Ryan swings for Volchok, his punch connecting with Volchok's jaw sending his head jolting side ways. Volchok stands staring at Ryan for a second before going for him. Ryan ducks. Volchok pulls Ryan to the ground and pins him. Volchok headbutts Ryan. Ryan is momentarily stunned before unloading an uppercut on Volchok, his head snapping back again. Volchok returns the favour with a punch across the jaw and heaves himself upright. Ryan is sprawled on the ground. Volchok looks menancingly at Summer

Volchok: How the mighty are fallen. You fancy a bit of rough sunshine. Afterall if I was good enough for Marissa I'm good enough for you.

Summer walks toward him. (Ryan is standing behind Volchok now)

Summer: Well Marissa certainly didn't date you for your charm

Volchok: Hmmm I wouldn't say we dated….more fucked and partied and fucked and got high (He is tucking bits of hair behind Summer's ear)

Why don't you give it a try (He runs a finger down the side of her face and across her lips)

Even princesses like you need to get dirty (His finger traces down her sternum getting closer to her breasts, Ryan now more compus mentus is raising a fist.)

Summer: Unlike Marissa I'm not blinded by sex

Ryans fist lands on Volchok's head as Summer's knee connects with his groin. Volchok falls to the ground.

Ryan looks at Summer

Volchok grabs Summer's ankle pulling her down. He pins her to the ground.

Volchok: It was because of you and Marissa's bitch of a mom that she left me. Why couldn't you leave her alone.

Ryan is punching at Volchok trying to make him get off Summer.

Ryan: Fucking get off her man

Volchok: You want a piece of the action man. You not had any since Marissa. No wait there was Sadie but she's a crap fuck. ( Volchok is grabbing at Summer's jeans)

Ryan kicks Volchok and pushes him off Summer. Ryan hammers Volchok with punches.

Volchok: Or you jealous I got Marissa? She dumped her prince for the pauper.

Volchok punches Ryan in the jaw sending him reeling.

Volchok: Marissa Cooper. Pity your driving killed her dude so many other men could have experienced that pussy. So willing. She was the best fuck. Though you should know that. A right little tiger. Rar

Ryan's eyes are glowing menacingly. He shifts his body weight then lands a punch on Volchok. Knocking him out cold.

Summer is sitting on the sand. Unable to get up. Tears stream down her face.

Ryan walks over to her and holds out his hand. Summer pulls herself up.

Summer: The bastard. The sex must have been good…

Ryan smiles

Summer: Sorry. Badly timed humour. Picked it up from Seth

Ryan: You ok…He just tried to

Summer: He didn't though. I wouldn't have let him and neither would you.

They walk for a bit hand in hand silently

Summer: You hungry?

Ryan looks at her

Summer: Well beating up the bad guys is hungry work and if you are anything like me your last decent meal was après graduation but pre-accident.

Ryan: Diner….

Ryan puts his arm round her

**The Diner**

Summer: Chilli fries and milk shakes. So high school

Ryan looks wistful but amused.

Ryan: So how about black coffee and salad. A lot more grown up.

Summer: I prefer high school- laughs

They are both finished. Ryan wipes some blood off his face with a napkin.

Summer: You look bad

Ryan: So do you

Silence

Summer: Ok you beat the crap out Volchok

Ryan: I did

Ryan looks uncomfortable.

Summer: I miss her.

There is an uncomfortable silence

Summer: Its ok to be angry at her.

Ryan: We should get home.

And with that Ryan Atwood shut down and returned to brooding.

Outside the diner

Summer: I guess bye then

Ryan: Yeah.

Ryan and Summer head in opposite directions.

Ryan stops and looks at her figure getting smaller in the distance. Summer was right he was angry at Marissa and he did miss her. But not enough. Sandy and Kirsten thought he was bottling it up but honestly he wasn't grief stricken.

He was upset she died in his arms

Part of him missed her.

Part of him didn't.

He was angry at her for being her. For being so flawed. But he was flawed too.

Everyone thought he should be crumbling.

He wanted to say they were broken up when she died. He had loved Sadie after her. He had moved on. To Sadie, to college, to his life. They broke up because they didn't work as a couple. After all the longest they had stayed together was 6 months. Their relationship was hard. Too hard for 18 nevermind 16. Ryan stopped walking. Between drugs, depression, crime, drink, lesbianism, drugs again, Volchok. He had saved her so many times. But she had saved him from death. He had loved her. She always loved him. To the end she wanted him but not wanted him enough to overcome her problems. She would always have a piece of his heart.

Thoughts whirled around Ryan's head

What everyone took as grief was anger that she finally sorted herself out and that chance was taken away, anger at himself for not missing her enough, anger that another woman was causing him heartbreak. Between them Dawn and Marissa had left their scars. He wanted to move on and have fun but Marissa…Damn the past…pulling him in…more obligation.

He wasn't the grief stricken boyfriend. That was Volchok. But he'd rather be there. At least he'd have a clear role.

Volchok was the grief stricken boyfriend

Julie the grieving mother

Summer the lonely best friend

What was he?


	6. Vindicated

**Seth's room**

Seth is on his cell listening to Summer's voicemail

Summer's prerecorded voice: You have reached Summer Roberts

Seth: Summer I've left 5 messages. If you want me to come over I'll be home all day

Seth presses end on the phone and lies back on his bed.

He picks up Captain Oats.

Seth: So captain oats….

Seth tosses him aside

Seth: You are no match for Ryan or Summer

Knock on the door

Anna: Seth

Seth: Anna (looks confused)

Anna: Don't sound so excited to see me

Seth stands up and hugs her. He looks genuinely excited.

Seth: So how..why

Anna: My parents decided they wanted to see sun for summer so we are back in Newport until college

Seth: cool. Its so great to see you…

Anna: I'm so sorry about Marissa

Seth: hm yeah

Anna: If its too hard for you to talk about its fine

Seth: Me find it hard to talk!

Anna punches him in the arm

Seth: I am the only one willing to talk. Summer has morphed into a female Ryan… She actually lets me watch Yakuza which is great

Anna: Seth

Seth: Ok she's falling apart. I don't know what to say or do. I don't even know if we are dating.

Anna: How?

Seth: We had sex after the funeral then nada. No sex, no making out. Its like hugging a tree

Anna: She's been through a lot. What about Ryan?

Seth: Brooding. Beating up a punchbag imagining its Volchok's head. Possibly drinking

Anna: Is he saying anything?

Seth gives her a look: Its Ryan

Seth sighs

Seth: Is it wrong that I want to turn back time so I can have my life back

Anna: Its childish but I know what you mean

Anna gives him a lingering hug

Anna (whispering): I have Yakuza…

**Cohen kitchen**

Sandy: You seen Ryan today

Kirsten: No, I heard him boxing earlier but he isn't in the poolhouse now

They hear giggles upstairs

Sandy: Its good to hear Summer is getting her sparkle back

Kirsten: Its not Summer

Sandy raises an eyebrow

Kirsten: Anna

Sandy: I thought he and Summer were back on

Kirsten: I don't know…All I know is that he spent the night with Summer after the funeral and he goes over everyday… but that's dwindled

Sandy: Nothing to do with Anna I hope

Kirsten: I know we've been there before and that's without Marissa

They are silent for a minute

Sandy: Poor Summer- no boyfriend, no best friend

Kirsten: Poor Ryan- no girlfriend, no brother. Both of them are alone

Sandy: The person who should be there for both of them is upstairs making a girl giggle

**Cohen exterior front door.** Night. Summer is sitting on the step.

Ryan approaches. He looks quizzical.

Summer: In the whole storming out the house thing I kinda forgot my key and I don't wanna wake Julie

Ryan opens the door and holds it open with his arm. Summer walks in. As she passes him she smiles

Summer: Thanks

Ryan shuts the door

Summer follows him through the house

Cohen kitchen

Sandy, Kirsten, Seth and Anna are gathered laughing and joking.

Seth sees Ryan

Seth: Hey buddy where you been?.. You missed…

He trails off as Ryan steps into the light the damage is fully visible

Seth: Whoa

Kirsten: Oh my god

Sandy: What happened to you or should I say who?

Summer enters the kitchen

Seth: Whoa and the what the hell did you do to my girlfriend?

Seth looks angrily at Ryan

Seth puts his arm round Summer

Seth: Baby what happened?

Summer removes his arm and gives Anna a glare

Kirsten: Lets get you two cleaned up

Seth: Was it Volchok?

Summer: Looks down and to the side

Seth (moving so he is standing opposite Ryan): You let Volchok get to her? One is unlucky, two is just careless.

Ryan: Well incase you forgot Summer isn't mine to lose. She is yours. (pointed look at Anna)

Summer(interrupting): I attacked Volchok he got out of control and Ryan jumped in

Seth: Out of control

Summer: Its ok. Volchok didn't mess me up too bad.

Seth looks angry.

Seth: Lucky Ryan was there to swoop in to save you

Summer: What was I supposed to do? Call you and your puny fists? Oh wait I forgot you and blondie were too busy "watching Blade or Yakuza or reading comics" (does sarcastic quotations)

Seth: What's that meant to mean

Summer: You know

Seth: Oh so you think I'm lying

Summer: Well pardon me for thinking that given the past

Seth: So in that case… How did you and Ryan just run into one another at the beach…

When he first came you liked him

Ryan: Seth back off man

Seth: Who are you to tell me to back off? This isn't your relationship anyway

Ryan: She's my friend too and I know a lot more about how she is feeling right now than you do

Seth: I bet you do (very sarcastic)

Ryan punches Seth across the jaw. Seth crumples to the floor.

Anna: Seth (rushing to help him)

Ryan looks at Summer

Ryan: Sorry about that

Summer: No need to apologise…You beat me to it


	7. Punchdrunk

Sorry for the long delay. I had exams at university which I passed yay! Now the updates will be more often. There will be at least another 1 by Friday.

Thanks for all the reviews. I have taken some on board so I hope you like the next chapter.

**Cohen house night**

Light spilled from the kitchen window onto the poolside. Kirsten sits at the table, the gentle breeze playing with her hair, her expression pensive, lost in thought. Sandy walks up behind her, " Well that's Summer returned home." He sighed and sank into a chair. His face looked craggy with a combination of tiredness and worry.

They sat in silence, neither wanting to speak in the face of the biggest crisis they had faced as parents so far.

Kirsten finally spoke, "Any ideas?"

"Sit them both down talk it out…ground Ryan…." replied Sandy.

"We need to take a stand, I don't want them punching each other."

"To be fair it was only Ryan doing the punching," interjected Sandy.

"Under normal circumstances a parental chat and some grounding would do the trick but with everything…" Kirsten said hopefully.

"These are far from normal circumstances. We ground him, we cut him off even more. He'll just punch the crap out that bag and the house will vibrate with the bass. He needs integrated not excluded," replied her husband sternly.

"In case you have forgotten he took a swing at your son!" retorted Kirsten

"He was provoked…Ok we can't ground him but we can't let it go," said Sandy with a sigh.

Kirsten gave him an intense glare

"Ok we talk to them both at breakfast and hope we can sweep this little incident under the carpet." Resolved Sandy. He held out his hand to his wife indicating the conversation was over. They headed inside and the house was plunged into total darkness.

**The following morning Cohen kitchen**

Seth pressed the bag of frozen vegetables to his jaw. The left hand side of his face was throbbing. Kirsten walked in.

"How is the face?" she asked.

"From the right hand side I look like my normal handsome self and from the left I look like a hamster. Apart from aesthetics it hurts. It hurts to eat, drink, lie on, touch, wash, look at, talk" replied Seth.

Kirsten gives him a quizzical look.

"Mom, Ryan landed one on me for no reason. And it was a Chino punch not a Newport punching a water polo player punch. It hurts. I've maxed out my legal painkiller intake." Seth explained.

Ryan ambles in. He pours himself a coffee and grabs himself a box of cereal.

"Good you are both here. All I need now is your father." Said Kirsten in an enthused tone.

"Mom what's with the cheeriness. Both your sons are in major pain here. (Turning to Ryan) Man how do you deal with the pain, it throbs in time with my pulse?" Seth inquired.

Ryan raised an eyebrow and looks at Kirsten.

"How do I deal with the pain?" says Ryan softly

"Yeah its driving me mad here and by the way impressive fists of steel," joked Seth.

Kirsten's expression is turned more worried by the second. Sandy appeared in the doorway.

"What pain are we talking about Seth, the pain I feel all over my body because of Volchok last night. Or the pain inside because I killed Marissa. Or the pain of my so called brother not being there to talk to after all those nights I listened to your hare brained schemes and love for Summer," replied Ryan in a tone as cold as steel.

He continued to stare menacingly at Seth.

"Ryan, Seth sit down your mother and I need to talk to you both," announced Sandy.

Both boys stared at each other until Kirsten nudged Seth towards the dining table.

**Dining table**

The boys sat opposite each other across the dining table. Sandy sat next to Ryan and Kirsten next to Seth. Sandy sighed deeply.

"You two both know what this is about so I'll cut to the chase, Ryan you shouldn't have punched Seth. We don't condone violence in this house especially between brothers," said Sandy. Seth nods happily. "However Seth equally you were wrong in provoking Ryan."

Kirsten continued where Sandy left off, "We know that with everything that has been going on no one has been their self that's why if you guys apologise and move on me and Sandy are willing to let it slide this once."

"But Ryan any more fighting and I mean any be it Seth, Volchok or anyone else there will be consequences and Seth try to be sensitive. So shake hands, be men and rise above it," finished Sandy triumphantly.

Beeping noise

Seth fumbles in his pocket to silence it. It is a text message. Ryan looks over and sees the message is from Anna.

Sandy asks, "Is that Summer? You should really check on her."

"Hmm will do," replied Seth halfheartedly. He was too busy messaging back.

Ryan threw him a dirty look and walked out.


	8. Fix Me

Marissa's room 

Bright California sunlight streamed in the window, surprisingly the brunette wrapped in the duvet was not awake. Summer was lying sprawled across the bed with Princess Sparkle and Care Bear even though it was past 11am. It had been another restless night. She had roamed the beach until midnight then the house until 2am. Day had turned into night. Her father wanted to medicate her. Summer said no. Too many unpleasant memories of stepmonster and Tijuana lingered.

Kaitlin strides in confidently heading straight for the closet throwing a cursory glance in Summer's direction and letting out a loud sigh. The younger girl began scrabbling about.

Summer stirred. It took a few minutes for her to register that Kaitlin was pilfering the closet.

"What are you looking for?" Summer asked wearily.

The younger girl replied, "You know those pirate boots Marissa had. They are perfect for my outfit."

"Do you really think its right to be raiding your sister's closet?" inquired Summer.

"Well I did try yours already but I didn't find anything I liked, though there were a few tops," Kaitlin said

"You were in my closet with my permission?" Summer sounded shocked

Kaitlin retorted, "It's a sister thing."

"Hence why you are stealing Marissa's clothes. Don't you have any respect?" said Summer in a terse voice

Kaitlin replied coolly, "The way I see it Marissa would want her clothes to be going on a hot date with and extremely hot guy, not wallowing."

Summer tutted

Kaitlin continued, "I mean did you ask Marissa before crashing in her bed. That's way more personal than boots," seeing Summer's shocked expression Kaitlin pushed her further, "You might pick up Volchok germs from in there."

Summer unwrapped the duvet and clambered out of the bed.

"All you ever do is stay inside and sleep or walk on the beach with Ryan. You and him could bond over your grief" taunted Kaitlin.

Summer hissed, "Go back to hell its where you came from."

Unknown to them Taylor had watched the whole exchange from the doorway.

She noticed the bruises on Summer's face, her painfully thin body, the eye bags and greasy hair. Summer looked terrible. Taylor knew how much Summer prided herself on her appearance. She knew that in Newport you could judge by appearances and this was not good.

Summer turned on her heel and bumped into Taylor.

"Oh so you are lurking now. Poor Summer lost a best friend so oh so desperate to be popular Taylor steps in," said Kaitlin nastily.

"You know what Kaitlin, Summer doesn't have to listen to this," said Taylor in a calm voice. She took Summer by the hand and led her out the room.

Summer's room 

The room was dark except a narrow stream of light which managed to sneak in between the curtains. Summer headed straight for the bed.

"Nnnno, not the bed," cautioned Taylor. Summer was left standing in the middle of the room looking lost. Taylor walked over the window and briskly opened the curtains, she then started to strip the sheets off the bed.

In a confused voice Summer said, "What do you think you doing?"

Taylor replied, "You may not believe me at the moment but I am doing you a favour by dragging you out of exile."

Taylor scurried into the adjoining bathroom. The noise of running water can be heard.

"Summer you lost your best friend. A month ago she was here now she isn't but you still are. As much as it hurts you need to face the world preferably looking remotely human after all this is Newport."

Summer's face contorted. Taylor walked towards her and gave her a warm hug.

"There is a bath ready for you and I will go get some food," Taylor said quietly.

"But,"

"No buts Summer. You aren't taking care of yourself and no one else seems to have bothered. Your dad is being a typical man and can't deal with you and Julie, Kaitlin is being the spawn of the devil, Ryan is most likely punching things and brooding and Seth.."

Summer headed towards the bathroom. Taylor continues to move around the room tidying up. Summer emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

"Those bruises look sore. Do you have any arnica? It will really take the pain out them," Taylor asked.

Summer replied "In the kitchen."

Taylor walked out. Summer peered in the mirror examining her face. She gets a shock when she sees Seth's reflection in the mirror.

"Hey… we need to talk. About last night, about us," he muttered.

"About Anna?" Summer implored.

Seth sighed.

Summer turned to face him. Upon seeing his expression her face softened. Taylor walks in wielding a tube of cream.

"Hey Seth. Am I interrupting?" she enquired.

Summer answered for Seth, "No he was just leaving. I will come see you tomorrow."

Seth nodded and walked out.

Summer turned to face the mirror. She picked up a hairdryer.

Taylor asked, "Do you want me to?"

Looking steadily into the mirror Summer replied, "No."

Taylor motioned she was leaving. Summer looked straight at her. Her features still sad but now determined.

Montage of images: Summer drying her hair, putting on makeup and getting dressed until she finally looks like normal Summer.


	9. Welcome to the dark side

Roberts' Patio

The table was laden with food as usual. Neil was reading the financial pages of the LA times as usual, alone as usual. He was dismayed to discover his stocks were not performing as hoped when he saw his daughter approach. This was unusual. What was more unusual was she looked like Summer. The red sundress made a change from that awful grey tshirt. Her hair had been washed and the sunlight danced over it illuminating it. The bruises had more or less faded. Neil put down his paper as Summer sat down.

"Morning sweetheart," he said apprehensively.

His daughter replied, "Morning daddy, would you pass me a pastry."

Neil was stunned she was eating solid food as well.

"Where's Julie?" asked Summer.

"She is at kickboxing," Neil stated matter of factly.

Summer raised an eyebrow.

Neil continued, "What are you going to do today?"

"I'm going to see Seth and I might pop in Ryan too, see how he is," Summer replied.

Neil watched as Summer finished her pastry. He was stunned. Yesterday she was wallowing in despair. To be fair she had perked up slightly after the whole beach incident but Neil was at a loss as to why she suddenly had improved.

Seth's room

Summer walked in.

"Seth!" she said loudly.

The lump on the bed moved. She came closer.

"Cohen!" she yelled.

Seth rolled over and grumbled.

"I'm here to talk," she said evenly.

Seth stared at her for a minute.

Summer sighed, "Well talk Cohen."

"I…." He grumbled.

Summer looked exasperated. "Ok, Cohen. Here's the deal. My wallowing is over. Life is moving on so before I checked in the parallel universe known as grief we were a sort of couple getting over the whole Brown deal. Then there was the sex and Anna. So where do we stand?"

Seth took a minute to process before asking, "What do you want?"

Summer replied quietly, "I want my life back and that means you."

Seth lifted the side of the duvet up and allowed Summer to slide in next to him. For the first time in a while a smile made its way across her face. Seth's smile was tinged with anxiety.

Cohen kitchen

Ryan was examining the contents of the fridge. It was full but nothing took his fancy. He started to make coffee when a squeal startled him.

"Ryan!"

Before he knew what was happening a brunette was hanging round his neck. It was Taylor.

She released her grip.

"How are you?" she asked in a concerned tone.

He hesitated before saying, "Ok, I guess."

"Now don't go putting a happy face on it. Bottling it up isn't good for anybody. If you ever need an ear I'm here," she offered.

Ryan didn't know how to reply. Luckily he was saved by the arrival of Seth and Summer.

The first thing Ryan noticed was how Summer's hair was taller than he remembered. He put it down to she was wearing heels unlike that night at the beach. The second thing he noticed was how she was clinging to Seth's hand.

Taylor announced, "I'm so glad you guys are all here. There is a party at Holly's beach house tonight. Please say you'll come."

There was a silence.

Summer's eyes met Ryan's. He found himself saying he'd go. Why did he agree to go to a stupid party? He decided to stay for an hour after all it might get Sandy and Kirsten off his case if he socialised.

Holly's beach house- party in full swing

Ryan wandered into the house. The lounge was a seething mass of writhing tanned bodies. The kitchen resembled a brewery and well he didn't really want to know what was going on outside. He felt out of place in his black tshirt and jeans. The tee was tighter than he would have liked but the female half of the party evidently liked it from the number of eyelashes which were being fluttered in his direction. He surveyed the room for Seth and Summer. He didn't see them. He felt a hand on his back. Ryan turned immediately expecting it to be Summer or Seth. It wasn't. It was a perky blonde in a red bikini. Her arm was snaking its way around his waist.

"So, Ryan how are you?" she cooed

Ryan eyed her shiftily as her realised her hand was heading asswards as she pulled herself closer.

"I know I could make you feel better," she said huskily.

Ryan looked around the room again. He saw Anna. This was his out. He extracted himself and headed towards Anna. Ryan was barely ten feet from her when Seth appeared out of no where. Anna hugged him enthusiastically before the pair headed outside. Ryan set of in the direction of the kitchen when he heard Summer call his name. He headed over to her and Taylor hoping she hadn't seen Anna and Seth.

"Hey Ryan how are you feeling? Remember to stay away from the alcohol," chastised Taylor.

Ryan opened his mouth to reply when suddenly Sung-Ho arrived. Taylor and him engaged in an enthusiastic lip lock. Ryan looked at his feet.

"You fancy that drink?"Summer said with a smirk which was suppressing giggles.

Ryan led the way. He could feel the heat of Summer's body close behind him as the weaved through the crowd.

On the kitchen counter was every known type of liquer as well as several kegs.

Summer picked up two cups. "Beer or the hard stuff?" she motioned towards the bottles.

Ryan didn't know if drinking was a good idea. But he figured it might get him more the party mood. He poured a Jack Daniels for himself and a vodka orange for Summer. There was an awkward silence.

Ryan said softly, "So you and Seth are back together."

"Yeah we seem to get through everything," Summer replied.

"Summer!" squealed Taylor, "come dance with me and Anna!"

Taylor grabbed Summer's wrist and pulled her away barely leaving enough time for her to hand Ryan her drink. Seth walked up to Ryan.

"Hey man, how are you?" Seth inquired.

Ryan replied, "Ok."

"You sure? You've got two drinks," said Seth.

Ryan replied curtly, "One of them belongs to your girlfriend."

Ryan shoved the cup towards Seth sloshing a little liquid over his hand.

Ryan made his way outside. He had to get some air. Ryan made his way across through the garden and onto the beach. He took a deep breath of salty air. A familiar face approached him.

It was Luke, "Hey man."

Ryan was surprised to see him, he thought Luke had returned to Oregon. "What are you still doing here?"

"You not glad I'm here," Luke mocked. He continued, "My mom is remarrying some Newport dude."

Ryan couldn't resist saying, "A straight one."

Luke mocked offence.

"Anyway how are you with the whole Marissa thing?" Luke asked.

Ryan trotted out his standard answer, "I'm ok. It wasn't like we were dating or anything."

Luke seemed sceptical. In the distance a female voice was calling him. He left Ryan alone on the beach. Ryan walked a little further past the couple making out and sat down.

About an hour passed and he decided to make his way back to the party. On his way back through the garden there were a lot more drunken bodies than on his previous trip. He stepped through the door looking for his friends. Taylor and Anna were slumped on a sofa. Summer was dancing herself. She caught sight of him.

"Hey Ryan come dance with me? Seth is being boring!" she squealed at him.

The music changed from hip hop to slow R and B. Summer twirled wildly ignoring the change in beat.

"Woah we don't want you falling over," Ryan said trying to steady her. She puts one arm round his neck and suddenly wobbles. She steadies herself by putting both arms round Ryan's neck. He feels her body getting heavier.

She whispers guiltily, "I'm wasted, I should get Seth to take me home."

Ryan replied, "Its ok I'll walk you,"

Summer wobbled.

"Or I'll just carry you."

The street.

Ryan is giving Summer a piggy back. Her chin is resting on his head. Pieces of her hair are tickling is face and her arm keeps banging his mouth. Ryan looks mildly amused.

"Your gel tastes funny," Summer piped up

Ryan replied, "Your perfume tastes of vanilla."

They arrived at the Roberts' front door.

"Keys?" asked Ryan.

Summer handed him her purse. He found the keys and opened the door.

Summer's room

Ryan placed Summer on the bed. Gently he took off her shoes. He headed toward the door.

"Ryan, stay," said Summer in a quiet voice.

He turned to look at her. Without saying anything he lay on the bed next to her. There they lay not touching.


	10. Saviour

It was 4am and Ryan was awake. He had been awake for the past hour. Looking over at Summer he got out of bed. For the past hour it had been taunting him. Her room was just through the wall. He crept down the hallway. He paused with his hand on the handle. Did he really want to do this? Stir up all those demons? He had to. Ryan pushed down the handle and entered. He leant against the door and willed himself to turn the light on. He had come this far so he may as well. He flicked on the switch. The room was exactly as she had left it. He recognised the photos on her pinboard, the CDs next to the stereo, the jewellery scattered on the dresser and the smell in the air. It was as though she had gone to the party and not come home yet. Ryan picked up her robe. He tried to smell her. Not the perfume or the body lotion or her shampoo but her, the essence of her. Walking to the closet he flipped it open. All he smelt was detergent. The pile of clothes on the armchair smelt of stale smoke and alcohol. He caught sight of things he'd missed the first time his eyes roamed the room. The cigarettes, the ash tray, a dog tag which wasn't his. On her pinboard next to pictures of Summer and Julie, him and Marissa there were ones of Harper and worst of all her and Volchok at the prom. Damn you Marissa. So perfect yet so flawed. Was it wrong he missed the good bits but was glad the bad bits were gone. The drinking and partying and drugs and depression. Unknown to him a single tear made its way down his cheek.

"Hey what you thinking?" a soft voice murmured.

It was Summer, she stood shoulder to shoulder with him looking at the photos.

Ryan replied, "It was such a waste, look at her she was so happy. When did it all get so fucking wrong?"

Before Summer could answer Ryan continued, "When I came that's when. I broke up her and Luke. If it wasn't for me they'd be prom king and prom queen riding off into the sunset as the perfect couple."

Summer moved to stand in front of him, "Don't give yourself credit for breaking up her and Luke. She picked you."

Ryan spat back, "And now she's dead, some choice that was."

Summer looked disappointed, "You loved her. More than anyone. You would have walked over hot coals for her. It was real. Do you know how lucky she was to experience that so young. Some people never get that."

There was a silence. "What about towards the end?" said Ryan.

"Towards the end…" Summer trailed off, "Was hard. I lost my friend for a while, you lost your girlfriend."

Ryan said in a monotone, "I should have been able to save her."

"You can only save someone who wants to be saved," said Summer softly. With that she took his hand and walked him back to her room.

Summer watched him until he fell asleep. He had been through more than most people experience in a life time. She hoped it wouldn't take him a lifetime to get over Marissa Cooper.

Summer's room morning.

"Summer!" shouted Seth in a sing song voice

Summer opened her eyes, "Shit!" was all she could utter before Seth bounded in


	11. Rage Blackout

Summer's room was shrouded in silence. The three people in it frozen. Ryan lying on the bed in a wifebeater and jeans. Seth facing Summer his expression blank. Summer standing in the middle of the room in her nightdress. Ryan could tell Seth was jumping to conclusions.

"Seth nothing happened I swear." Ryan broke the silence.

Seth's mouth opened but nothing came out, his expression stunned. Finally he managed to speak, "If nothing happened why are you in her bed?"

Summer jumped in with, "He brought me home from the party, I was drunk."

Seth turned to look at her disgusted. He took in her rumpled hair, the mascara on her cheeks and the thin material of her nightdress. Turning back to Ryan he said, "You always did find the drunks irresistible."

As soon as the words were out his mouth Summer raised her right hand and slapped him across the face. He recovered and spat out, "Rage blackout honey."

The look in Summer's eyes turned to pure fury.

Ryan cautioned, "Summer,"

Summer gulped and said in a defiant tone, "Rage blackout I'll give you rage blackout," as she lunged at him. Summer batted at him with her fists whilst Ryan looked on amused. As much as this scene amused him he knew he had better end it or someone was going to get a black eye. He moved off the bed and headed towards the pair. "Summer come on stop it….Summer stop… please….SUMMER!" with that he grabbed her round the waist with one arm. She squirmed and punched him the eye.

"Oh my god Chino!" she squealed.

Ryan replied, "I'm fine." He couldn't believe it she was deceptively strong.

"Well that's alright then," said Seth. Summer turned to face Seth, "He was there when I needed someone. You weren't. So if you could just leave because right now I don't need you."


	12. Wave Goodbye

Ryan pushed open the Cohen front door. Since it was Sunday Sandy and Kirsten were most likely having brunch on the patio. He headed toward the kitchen in search of ice. His eye was throbbing ever since Summer right hooked him. On his way through the hall he heard giggling coming from the den. He crept towards the door. Anna and Seth were playing a racing game. Ryan watched as Anna won the game and did a little celebration dance. Seth shoved her playfully. Ryan continued to watch as she wrapped her arms round his neck and kissed him. He still watched as Seth returned the kiss. Shocked he continued on his way to the kitchen. Out the window he could see Julie and Neill were with Sandy and Kirsten. He opened the freezer door. The chill air rushed out refreshing him. He selected a packet of sweetcorn. A timer goes off, in response Kirsten walks in. Seeing the bruise on his head she asks, "Where were you last night and what happened?" motioning to his eye. Her tone was chilly. Just as Ryan was about to reply in sauntered Seth. Kirsten watched as both boys avoided eye contact. "So where were you all night?" before Ryan could respond Seth said deadpan, "In bed with Summer." Seth exited towards the den. Ryan stood expressionless. Kirsten looked stunned and angry, "You had sex with Summer, of all people! I appreciate you may want to sleep around to get over Marissa but her best friend and Seth's girlfriend."

Ryan dropped his head. Kirsten hears a new voice coming from the babble outside. Its Summer's. She heads inside.

"Hey Kirsten," she said giving the blonde a warm hug, "I hope you don't mind me dropping by."

Kirsten replied, "It fine, we haven't started yet and there's plenty extra." The older woman had a slightly steely tone.

"I'll just go catch up with Seth, is he in the den? I have some apologising to do," said the brunette. Kirsten raised an eyebrow.

Summer headed to the door. Ryan looked up, "No Summer wait,…Seth's taking a shower,"

Kirsten said surprised, "No he isn't, he is in the den playing games."

Summer continued towards the door. "Summer don't," Ryan said quietly. Summer's smile faded. She strode determined towards the door only to be blocked by Ryan. He held her shoulders to stop her but she shoved him in the chest. She strode fiercely across the hall. Her stilettos clicking on the tile and her slim hips swaying. Ryan followed as did Kirsten after a second's delay. Summer stood silently in the door of the den.

On the couch Seth's tall frame was draped over Anna. Her left leg wrapped around his right. He was supporting his weight on his right arm. They were engaged in a passionate clinch.

Ryan stood behind Summer waiting for her to react. The two lovers were oblivious to the observers until in the distance Sandy called on Kirsten. They broke apart. Five people remained silent.

Kirsten confused about the relationships her sons were engaging in and how they would affect the brotherly bond.

Anna relieved there would be no more skulking about but scared Seth would pick Summer.

Summer shocked but feeling gullible.

Ryan worried about Summer yet angry at Seth.

Seth feeling stupid about lying yet again.

Seth broke the silence, "Say something Summer,"

Summer swallowed and struggled to regain her composure. "You are a liar Seth Cohen. Our entire relationship has been a lie."

Seth moved off Anna and replied, "I do love you Summer,"

She spat back, "You have a funny way of showing it. The first time I really need you, you aren't there,"

"You pushed me away," replied Seth.

"Well forgive me for being confused about my emotions. Though I must say I'm incredibly glad you are no longer confused about yours. Because now I see why we were always make up and break up. You never truly loved me."

"You slept with Ryan," shouted Seth, "That means our relationship was a lie on your side too cos you only talked to me because of him."

"Seth that's crap. I didn't sleep with her. She was drunk I brought her home we talked about Marissa," interrupted Ryan, "that doesn't give you the excuse to go screw Anna."

"Don't give me that crap, last night, the party, the beach, supposedly talking about Marissa," Seth retorted.

"Nothing has been going on. Unlike you sex is the last thing on my mind," screamed Summer.

Seth didn't look convinced.

"Screw you Seth," Summer continued.

Seth lowered his voice and said, "Do you know how much is hurt to think of you two together. My girlfriend and my brother?"

Summer looked shocked. She turned to Ryan, looked him in the eye and kissed him deeply on the lips. She wrapped her arms round his neck and pulled away slightly before launching a second attack.

It took Ryan a second to register what was happening. He felt the warmth of her arms round his neck, her body heat travelling through his shirt and the ferocity with which she kissed. Then she pulled away.

"That's us even Seth. Now screw you."

Summer pushed past Ryan, Kirsten and Sandy storming out the door. Ryan started to follow her.

"That's right Ryan go save the damsel in distress," said Seth.

Ryan said quietly, "Well do you want to go check on her?"

"No be my guest, you might end up staying the night again," Seth replied.

Ryan said evenly, "Fuck you Seth, you don't understand."

Ryan walked away. Once inside the poolhouse he flopped onto his back.

Summer headed to the beach, she stormed along the sand fighting back the tears until she met Taylor.

"What happened honey?" said Taylor her voice full of concern

Summer paused as a tear spilled slowly down her cheek. She told Taylor everything, well nearly everything. She didn't mention the strange feeling when she kissed Ryan.

Sandy knocked the poolhouse door. "Ryan out here now," he bellowed.

He propelled his elder son into the kitchen where Seth and Kirsten were seated.

"I don't know where to start," he said in an exasperated tone.

"We appreciate this is a difficult time for both of you but what happened guys, you should be depending on each other," Kirsten said.

"He saved Summer via sex, punched me and I slept with Anna. I admit we both have flaws here but I didn't have sex with my brother's girlfriend," explained Seth.

Ryan stated, "First time I saw Summer since the funeral was at the beach and the Volchok thing happened, then at the party where Seth didn't notice his girlfriend was getting out of control drunk because he was sloping off with Anna so I took her home and stayed with her because we both were upset given everything that has happened,"

"Can you guys just put it all behind you?" Sadny asked.

Before Seth could speak Ryan said, "I need to get away from here. I've arranged to go stay with my mom for a while."

Kirsten asked, "Are you sure sweetie?"

Ryan nodded. Kirsten and Sandy exchanged looks.

The next day at the airport

Ryan and Kirsten are standing at security.

"Now there is food in your rucksack, also details of the hotel which isn't as great as last time but I figured you'll be staying for longer and all the phone numbers," she explained.

Ryan thanked her, "You really don't need to do this."

Kirsten held back tears as she said, "I do I'm your mom, just promise me one thing. Come back."

Ryan swept her into a big hug, "Of course I'll be back."


	13. Road to Nowhere

The sun was high in the sky. It beat down mercilessly on the desert landscape causing the horizon to shimmer. The heat was almost warm enough to melt the road surface. In the distance a vehicle came into view, the only sign of life in the desolate landscape.

Ryan looked out over at the map, another 20 minutes and he should be there.

Summer could resist no longer. She stood up and dived into the pool. The water rushed over her toned body, the current whipping her hair out behind her. Resurfacing she began to swim laps. Time passed, she had no idea how long. She paused at the end of the pool. In the distance she heard a high pitched female voice. It had to be Julie. With that thought Summer sank under the water.

"Summer!"

Taylor was puzzled. There was a towel on the lounger, an iced tea, sunglasses and an Ipod. But where was Summer. Out the corner of her eye she noticed a shadow in the pool. Taylor crossed her arms and waited.

Summer's body was screaming for air. How easy it would be just to breathe in the water, but she decided to surface since Julie had obviously retreated into the house in the July heat.

"So flipper how's it going?" demanded Taylor.

Ryan pulled up outside the diner. He strode powerfully across the parking lot and into the deserted diner.

"Hello!" he called

From the back he heard footsteps, "Ryan! Hey you came back!" said a petite blonde he recognised. It was Chloe. This was not what he needed. Especially when she threw herself round his neck. Once she disentangled herself he asked, "Hey I'm looking for Dawn, she said she'd be here,"

Chloe replied, "She was meant to be but she's been flakey recently…"

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Try her place, but Ryan don't give her a hard time," Chloe said.

With that Ryan was back on the road to Dawn's place.

"Taylor, I do not need a haircut or a manicure," Summer's voice echoed from the bathroom.

"Summer!" Taylor's tone said it all, there was no way Summer was getting out of this one.

"Mom!…Dawn!" Ryan pounded the door with his fist. Giving up he peered in the window. Cupping his eyes he saw something lying on the floor. This did not look good. With one blow he broke down the door.

The apartment smelled of stale cigarette smoke and alcohol. He moved into the living area. Dawn lay on the floor. Her left eye was black and blue, in her hand lay and empty vodka bottle. Ryan felt disgusted, disappointed. He had come here to get away from everything and here he was straight back in the middle of it. Gently he shook Dawn's limp body, she woke up.

"Hey… honey what you doing here?" she said shakily

Ryan sighed and said, "Mom, don't you remember, I phoned you, I wanted to get away from everything."

Dawn looked confused, "Away from what? I thought you loved Newport and then there's college."

"Mom remember Marissa, what happened…"

Dawn's confusion grew, she suddenly remembered as she noticed how unhappy her son looked.

Seth bounded out his room and down the stairs. He and Anna were going to the comic book store today. On the kitchen island he noticed an envelope for him. The logo on it said RISD. Seth stopped, a lump formed in his throat, a sense of panic began to rise. He ripped open the envelope. As he read a smile spread over his face.

Summer felt that at any moment she may start to receive radio signals because of the amount of foil in her hair. Why had she let Taylor convince her that highlights were a good idea? At least the steamer device which hovered over her blocked out Taylor's babble.

Ryan slumped over a table in the diner. He was tired and upset and angry to the point that all the emotions merged and he felt nothing. Chloe came over.

"Hey you ok?" she inquired. The glint in her eye suggested to Ryan she was up for a rematch of his last visit.

Ryan looked her in the eye and rolled out his life. He finished with, "…so I guess you could say I'm not ok."

With that he left.

"You get to go to RISD in the fall! That's great! Especially since I'll be at Brown in the fall!" Anna squealed. She bent over and kissed him. As much as Seth wanted to make out with her he felt he had to clarify the situation. He broke away.

"Yeah but I have to leave in 2 days to go to summer school," he said cautiously.

Anna replied "Not a problem, I have family in Rhode Island, I can come too." With that she continued kissing him. As Seth drew her close he realised that Anna was the least of his problems. He had 2 days to sort things out with Ryan and Summer.

Summer looked at her manicure. Black satin wasn't her normal choice, then again nothing about her life was normal at the moment. She sucked her straw. The Bait Shop was busy tonight but somehow she felt alone. Probably because there was no Seth or Marissa or Ryan. Taylor was locked in an embrace with some guy. Summer decided to bail. The night was too balmy to be cooped up in a club alone.

The stars sparkled in the sky above New Mexico. Ryan sat on the step outside his motel room. Even though it was dark the heat had not gone. He stretched out his legs and considered life. Where to go next? Back to Newport? Stay here? Neither really appealed. Neither was the easier choice.

Summer leant on the barrier of the pier. The soft breeze blew her hair round her face. She looked up at the stars.

The shrill tone of Ryan's cell broke the still night air. He smiled when he looked at the caller ID.

"Summer,"

"Ryan,"

"Why'd you call…."

Ryan lay out on the step and listened to her voice. He found himself laughing at something she said.

Summer had never realised how manly Ryan's voice was nor how his laugh came from the heart. This wasn't good, what was even worse was Taylor heading in her direction.

"Ryan I've gotta go, Taylor is coming to get me,"

Ryan replied, "Sure…." He hesitated, "Summer take care." He clicked off the call.

Summer whispered, "You too," into the static.


End file.
